It really hadn’t dawned on me how real this moment was until my daughter handed me a rectangular box and a white plastic bag the other day when she came home from school. I opened the bag first and pulled out a purple cap and gown, then the box contained embossed invitations with her high school’s name and logo with personalized cards, tissue papers, return address labels and gold seals with 2012 on them. My hands began to shake as I sorted through the stationery and my thoughts. My baby is really about to graduate, from high school! For real! She’s not in elementary anymore, she’s really about to embrace adulthood.
Then I panic. “Have I adequately prepared her for the world she’s about to encounter? Did I teach her everything she needs to know? Do she know how to pay bills, open a bank account, save money, purchase a car, sign legal documents or better yet, make good choices about men, sex, friendships? Did I teach her everything I could about God and the importance of an intimate relationship with him? Did I teach her right, is she ready for this world?
After holding my breath until I almost passed out, I sighed deeply. As I looked around my bedroom I processed many thoughts and rekindled many memories. ‘I have done the very best I could with what I had. My life became a sacrifice for my children to live in comfort. I poured into them my soul, my heart, my spirit, my money and my time, unconditionally. I skipped many meals in order for them to eat, I wore clothes and shoes with rips in order to have enough money to buy them the latest styles. When life had beat me up pretty bad, I smiled through my tears as I read Bible stories to them at night.
I’ve made some horrible choices and failed at many things but my children, well, I’ve loved them eternally. Many times I loved them more than I loved myself. And if they don’t remember anything I’ve ever said over the years, they will forever remember my faithfulness. My daughter is graduating from high school and contemplating college versus the military. I will support whatever decision she makes and trust that in the end, she will turn out just fine. Of all the things I gave her, the most important was an introduction to Jesus Christ. That alone will carry her through all of life’s ups and downs because if God be for her, who can be against her?
Congratulations, sweetheart, you made it and I am forever proud!
Toni Spearman/Author 